So if you’re been around me or seen my instagram then you’ve seen that I’ve been on an enneagram kick lately. I honestly didn’t get it before, a few years ago one of my mentors threw a book at me with a weird diagram on it and I just didn’t know what to do with it. Now I’m carrying around this book like a school nerd talking to strangers about it, making everyone in my immediate circle take it and I’m not even a little bit sorry.
Coming from a Psychology degree background, I’ve realized that I have always loved being able to know myself deeply–my emotions, my words, my actions, what I find myself holding onto and why, I have been fascinated with self introspection and also connecting deeply with the world around me. Having always been quite aware of myself and the world around me, it felt important and necessary even to experience life that way —in a way that you’re affected by almost everything. (If you’re familiar with the study then you probably read that and had an eye roll moment while saying to yourself, “she’s probably a four” in your head and in that case you would be right). Besides poet, feeler of all things and drama queen I now have a different way of describing myself to the world simply by saying “yeah…I’m a four” and put an eye roll in myself. In brief, here are the types and a quick rundown of each from:
As I am delving deeper into this text of personalities, the whys and why nots… I am even more in awe of who we are as human beings. Human beings who have a God who sees the intricacies of our being and he celebrates them, loves them, embraces them because he created them. I love the enneagram because unlike most other tests, it’s not just about how you are in social or professional realms, it’s who you are at your core. The deep dark things we shove in the closet and hope no one sees, the pages in our journals we thought we burned being read out loud and leave us feeling exposed and vulnerable. But that’s the beaut in this personality study —it doesn’t just leave you exposed and vulnerable, instead it exposes, allows you to feel vulnerable and leaves you feeling not only seen more deeply by yourself but others.
With this specific personality study, it is recommended by many (and myself included) to not just take the test(s) but instead read up on each type, do some digging and most likely the type that either makes you ugly cry or cringe is most likely your type. Because you’re reading about things that others “aren’t supposed to know” those part of us we mask, ignore or just don’t know are even there in the first place. I told someone the other day that it’s as if someone is jackhammering into your soul and getting to the well, the water, the deep stuff no one wants to bring up or talk about but oh how necessary it is! We have to get back to our cores, our foundations in order to have healthy, tall and worthy skyscrapers on top of it. We have to get to the well, the deep stuff so we know what is blooming out of that soil.
One of the quotes from The Road Back to you says that, “In order to create foundations you have to clear out everything that’s not sound” the scariest parts of the enneagram are the moments where it feels as though the very ground below us is changing, shifting because it is. If we’re in a healthy state it reveals us at our unhealthy and makes us aware and vice versa, if we’re in an unhealthy state it exposes that and causes us to strive for the healthy. It doesn’t say flaw or defects instead it phrases them as healthy, unhealthy, stress and “best” which allows us to identify the various experiences we will have with ourselves and understanding who we are.
I love being able to start off my year being in depth and passionate about this because what a beautiful way to start a new year…fully aware and in motion of your healthiest self. When we walk confidently aware of who we are, not only do we encourage others to do the same but we become almost like walking portraits and we appreciate one another so much more. If you’re into the enneagram or not, this is what I want to leave you all with: new year resolutions, goals, dream boards aside—I think this is just a year that we need to hear this:
You’re safe here. All the pieces of you are seen, embraced and welcomed.
Be okay with chiseling the foundation, with shifting things around a little bit.
Strive to become open with a little exposure and vulnerability–knowing yourself deeper and understanding exactly the imprint of the hands who made you.
I’m going to start a little series as I read more about each type and do a “Dear (insert enneagram type here) Which will just be 9 poems to each type from the perspective of a fours outlook on them and the world we live in.
In the meantime, below are some resources for you to check out and research more. If you have thoughts or questions I’d love to chat about them!
Your Enneagram Coach assessment** favorite one yet
+ a super exciting little goodie for ya, the artist Sleeping at Last has a podcast about the enneagram and also is writing songs for each type!
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