I may not know much about divine. But I know what a moment looks like when it is perfectly inline and orchestrated on your behalf.
I may not understand entirely how life works or know what tomorrow will hold— but I know there’s a orchestrator who carries both in his very hands.
See, I may not be the most philosophically educated but I can tell you a few things about the way bigger than us entities work in, through and around us.
I have not always experienced the richest luxuries in life but i have seen and been given an abundance of Glorious opportunities and this week was one of them.
These past three days I had the honor of attending an immersion retreat hosted by LuLulemon. This immersion is yoga, meets let’s dig deep into the things that scare you and express them in front of strangers, eat food that will have you wishing everyday could be catered and work out harder than you probably ever have in your entire life. I only was able to experience half of what this week entailed and i can already tell you that my whole world has been shaken upside, turned around, wrecked and brought back again.
I heard a lot about lululemon over the past couple years while attending a private university in Southern California, it was often a question of, “oh my gosh are you wearing lulus?!” Whenever someone sported yoga pants around campus. I however had no clue what “lulus” were because my bank account nor my background allows me the Luxury to do so. And then earlier this year I had the honor of working with the pasadena studio in an even collaborated with soul cycle and I received my first pair of glorious Luluemon yoga pants. And THESE PANTS YALL are heaven for the legs. The employees referred to them as feeling like “butter” and honestly I couldn’t come up with a better description of I tried without saying they just feel like you have nothing on (in the best way). This was my first real exposure to the aspect of quality clothing that cost well what it was worth, your whole paycheck well maybe not all of it for most people but for this artist life, definitely your whole paycheck.
Anyway I digress… my first couple of experiences with lululemon helped me to understand the quality and integrity of their clothing and then last month I experienced the quality and integrity of their company and the people who run it. I have never seen such a large group of people all strive for such a passionate, progressive and inclusive environment for not only those in the “inner circle” but also those they allow to have a seat at the table.
and the extent of their hospitality, the reach of their intentionality and the depth of their integrity brought me to tears.
They aren’t just really bomb yoga pants and quality clothing, they’re also really bomb people who create inviting environments for wholistic and integrative experiences.
The first couple days of the immersion involved yoga mornings and break out sessions where the first day we were asked two questions, “what lights you up?” And “what is it time for?” The group shared their answers with earnest truth and I slowly got to hear about what lights up the people who I can no longer call strangers. I would be lying if I said the tears didn’t start this first day because they did. Hearing people’s stories seeking bravery, self-love, direction and acceptance brought this enneagram four heart of mine to even more mush than it already is. And for me? Well It was like something in me finally needed to crack, to break and these were the questions and environment in which they felt safe enough to do so.
See, I often doubt my worthiness when it comes to the things that I have the complete blessing to experience. The immersion allowed me to put name to these experiences and call them, “glorious opportunities”.
I often doubt my worthiness when it comes to accepting that I am deserving of these “glorious opportunities”. I have these weighing thoughts that I could always work harder, be better, do more— in order to feel worthy of the blessings and favor that have come my way. Perhaps this could be a level of humility but it’s also extremely self depreciating to the impact and favor that God has placed in my life and deemed for me.
Before I left, I shared with the group that sometimes I feel bad for the gloriousness I get to experience, that I don’t feel deserving of them. Afterwards, Cecily who walked us through these sessions asked me say, “I am deserving of glorious opportunities” while I stood with arms wide open on stage and allowed the rest of the group to erupt in a boisterous applause. I wept and wept and wept, while I barely could get out each word,
I walked off stage to receive hugs and tears and to one of the ladies slipping the bracelet off her wrist only to slip onto my own while she gently kissed my forehead. It was this overwhelming, refreshing moment where you truly let yourself be stripped down, allow others to see your bareness, your mess and love you still. I didn’t have to be a “public figure” or a “brand”, I could just be me. Just be Arielle without the Estoria, just be Arie, no makeup, sweaty and snotty, Arie.
I needed a space to unravel, to be seen in a new way and loved in ways I did not know I was capable or honestly deserving of being loved by people who I did not even know 48 hours prior.
See, I have taken a seat at the lululemon table. A table that flourishes their guests with warmth and acceptance like no other. A table that throws on thick the level of quality and integrity. A table that gives and gives and gives the best parts of them diligently and without ( what seems to be) much hesitation.
And for being in a space that pours in so much it is difficult not to do the same.
Obviously I wrote all the feels and everything in between during these sessions. Here’s a snippet of one:
I am deserving of glorious opportunities
I am allowed to lasso the sun with my bare hands and grab all the sunshine I can fit into my pockets
I am a spine tall enough to extend itself to the sky and deep enough to touch home with its roots, I am a tree allowed to bloom exactly where I have been planted
I am accepting of the resilience that is my body,
this strong and able body
I am deserving of glorious opportunities
Of a love that looks like safe but not comfortable
Of a love that holds dearly,
that knows anchor when the waves crash
I am capable of taking back all of the pieces of myself that I ever gave away
I am also allowed to leave them exactly where they are because they are no longer part of who I am today
I am allowed space to grow
to extend branches in places
that need to be touched
I am able to yearn for more growth,
and to acknowledge the growth that has already occurred
And yet still fold my petals up to the light for even more
I am deserving of glorious opportunities,
and even when there seems to be none around,
I will seek to capture the glorious in every possible moment
Like being stripped down to mess and tears
And still calling that ….glorious
Now take those words,
And repeat them for yourselves.
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